


hands intertwined.

by Prettything_uglylie



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Internal Monologue, M/M, Swearing, but i had muse, i dont support them because unhealthy as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:46:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25016458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettything_uglylie/pseuds/Prettything_uglylie
Summary: It isn't his first time. it isn't his first time so the feeling he associates with it is not the swelling fondness two fumbling boys feel when they have kissed a boy for the first time and just want more. It also isn't Monty's painful hatred of himself - lord knows Winston has slept with more than a few guys who hadn't been brave enough to kiss him in public but will spend hours on him if they can.Something feels different about Monty, though.
Relationships: Montgomery de la Cruz/Winston Williams
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81





	hands intertwined.

**Author's Note:**

> I was not too sure of writing this, to be honest, since I am simply not too fond of Monty - being a rapist can do that to you, buddy - but I truly found myself charmed by Winston and their chemistry and dynamic is interesting.  
> I really like Winston and I really liked writing this! I hope you all enjoy this!

It isn't his first time. it isn't his first time so the feeling he associates with it is not the swelling fondness two fumbling boys feel when they have kissed a boy for the first time and just want more. It also isn't Monty's painful hatred of himself - lord knows Winston has slept with more than a few guys who hadn't been brave enough to kiss him in public but will spend hours on him if they can. 

Something feels different about Monty, though. 

Winston Williams is used to being passed around and used. He is used to sweeping boys with shy smiles who skate their hands up his shirt and murmur, "I'm not gay." against his lips before throwing lube beside him and telling him to open himself up or those few times where he had tried to convince himself he likes girls, a few shy kisses that never felt right and then him breaking away to awkwardly admit to not being into it. 

But there's something in Monty's eyes, in his hands, in his mouth that all feels careful and painfully intimate. He had touched him gently, removed his clothes with an odd precision that Winston rarely sees in closeted boys like this, and as he had opened him up with his own hand, his other had kept his knee steady, reassured and he had kissed his way up and down his thighs. He had gone down on him too, something Winston had never seen the other boys do when they were so deep in the closet that they would beat a boy they liked up, and his mouth had been gentle, caressing. 

"For that time you did it for me," Monty had shrugged out an explanation where one wasn't necessary, a bruise locked around his eye and sounding more vulnerable than Winston is willing to bet he's felt in a long time. Winston had been too busy panting and wringing out the last few moments of his orgasm to articulate a proper _thank you._

Now, he was on top of him and Winston, Winston is painfully used to this position too - boys who will take him on his hands and knees so they can pretend it's a girl or one of the boys they had secretly been wanting to do this to for a number of years, it is not a new novelty to him. Monty is strong on his back though, sweating and rigid and built but not scary, the pressure and weight of him are oddly reassuring. Like he's still there. Like he's comforting Winston in a backwards and broken sort of way. 

His own wrist was curled in one of Monty's hands as he thrust, the weight inside of him heavy and accomodating and _so. fucking. good._ but he can't stop staring at his wrist. He thinks he'll have a bruise there but it is an absentminded thought and makes him just as hard as it does deject him. Monty's other hand is wrapped around his chest, like a wrestling hold or something but it feels like an aggressive hug - one of those ones boys do where they wrap themselves around you from behind and press their backs into your body, one of those ones that Winston has never had happen to him. 

Then Monty stops. Winston is used to this part of the dance too and he's ready to cum too, has been since Monty had slid into him and gritted a 'holy fuck, Winston' into his shoulder despite his recent climax, but it isn't his orgasm. 

Monty stops, and he pulls out - an action that Winston will never own up to the whine he makes when it occurs but something about Monty tells him he won't make fun of him for it. His hands are just as gentle and caressing when he flips him onto his back. 

"You're strong." He says without meaning to. It is gasped out between breaths and stupid to say because Winston could have told you that just looking at him but it makes Monty smile a bit and Winston wouldn't trade that for the world. 

Monty's eyes are gentle but his smile is sharp, like the only joy he knows has only ever cut himself - or others - with a knife and he shrugs out, "Football player." 

And they both know. They both know he plays football and sticks his hands up girls' dresses and has never listened to a full Britney Spears song and calls other guys slurs when they cry to show, prove to everyone else that he's straight, that he's a _man's man._ They both know Winston dropped the ruse of hiding behind "straight" at fourteen and tries not to look at the other boys in the locker room at the Hillcrest and listens to Lady Gaga in the same sitting as Lil Peep and has poured his heart into photography and things that will not love him back like hobbies, his parents and boys who will never love him. They both know and it's exhausting, but there is something reassuring about being here with Monty, like they have found their own little getaway. 

"I want to hear you," Monty says simply but Winston does not wonder how many girls he has said that same thing too like the other closeted boys. No, there is an inflection there in his _you_ that fools Winston for a moment, that for once he can believe he is the draw to Monty's heart, that Monty genuinely wants to hear him because of it being him. 

It's a nice fantasy. 

Just as nice as Monty pressing his forehead into Winston's as he thrusts and touching him gently on the back of the thigh while still leaving half-moon nail markings in his wake.

Or almost as nice as when Monty reaches up to release his wrist from the grip and with rough hands, drags their fingers in to intertwine. 

It's as nice of a fantasy as being loved can get. 

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, I'm not too big on Monty but I do love Winston so I hope you enjoyed this and I absolutely adore kudos and comments!


End file.
